a moon star is born - the buhchichala

In the 90s, I was a little fat girl living in New Jersey. Growing up a little fat girl was hard enough, but on top of that, I was weird. I was the kind of weird that got stuck in the cargo net and got sent back to preschool for hitting a kid and perfected the art of paper ripping when I lost my privilege to use scissors one Halloween. I had no play-dates. I got no invitations. Not having friends didn't really bother me, though, because at home, I had an audience that couldn't escape.

My mother and sister, who were home with me all day, were basically just there to look at me, I was pretty sure. My sister was older, INCREDIBLY smart, and could read easily, while I struggled through Go Dog Go.  My mother encouraged my creativity because she had no choice. My father was at work all day and other places after work, so he missed out on a lot of my primo material. One such effort, known simply as "Buhchichala," will forever be my masterwork and has given the name to this very blog.

My sister and I took baths together every night, because we were routinely washed by a mother who wanted to make sure we never smelled bad. It is easy to fit multiple children in a bathtub, and it does wonders to conserve water. One such evening, my mother left the bathroom for a minute while we soaked. I'm not sure what she went off to do, but I sure wanted to find her and impress her somehow. I devised a plan. Almost a plan. It wasn't really a plan so much as an instinctive response to my mother being in a different room.

I ran down the hallway as fast as my drenched, bare legs would carry me. I yelled "MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY" as I bounded, sure to get her attention. I then performed the most incredible feat ever seen on earth.

Buhchichalaaaaa! THAT'S WHAT I SAID! Buhchichalaaaaa! THAT'S WHAT I SAID! Stick your elbows in the air, shake your derriere! Buhchichalaaaaa!

 On the spot, I had made an instructional dance song that really showcased all of my talents in one brilliant act.

I turned my naked, dripping heiner to my mother, shook it back and forth, and bellowed "BUCHICHALAAAAAAAA."
I whipped my head around and informed her "THAT'S WHAT I SAID!"
I repeated this. I then told her how to do the dance, first shoving my elbows in the air, then shaking my derriere. I then reiterated that this was, in fact, "BUHCHICHALAAAAAA."

I didn't know what I thought my mother was going to do with this, but I sure as shit wanted to make sure she saw it.  She liked it. She liked it so much that she made me show my father and grandmother and neighbors.

I was a star.

*I may remember my mother's hair more glamourously than it really was.
**My sister is totally hot now and doesn't smile like this anymore.